Bad romance: Six ways to spot a romance scam
Over $1 billion has been lost to romance scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission. That amount is spread out among countless victims who took a chance on love. The premise of a romance scam is simple. A fraudster pretends to be romantically interested in someone as a way of gaining access to their finances.
Thankfully, there are a few tried and true methods to use to spot a romance scam.
Here’s what you need to know.
Asks for money
We’d be remiss not to mention this one right off the bat. The goal of practically any fraudster is to get your money. For romance scams, fraudsters often use two common reasons to ask for money.
Emergency: Emergencies are a go-to way that romance fraudsters trick people into sending them money. Whether it’s a natural disaster, accident or anything in between, they’ll ask for money and urge the victim to send it as soon as possible. They may even say things like, “If you love me, why won’t you help me?”
Beware of any new person who asks for money, especially after cozying up to you.
Job: A common component of a romance scam is that the fraudster pretends to have some faraway job that excuses their erratic communications and makes it easier to ask for money. For example, military romance scams involve a fraudster pretending to be an active-duty service member who needs money to get home. Which is an impossible scenario as their travel expenses would be covered by the government.
Another version of this scam is a fraudster pretending be a celebrity. The catch there is that they pretend to have limited access to their funds and need someone to send them money, assuring they’ll be paid back once they can access their millions. Logically speaking, the rich and famous have plenty of financial safety nets in place, and the chances of them seeking a fan out to ask for money are slim to none.
Whether pretending to be a celebrity, military member, or even a doctor, the root of a job-based romance scam is the same. The fraudster leverages their supposed financial stability as a way of guaranteeing their ability to pay back the victim.
Won’t meet in person
Romance scammers make a point to never meet in person. Mainly because they’re not who they’re pretending to be. They may agree to come visit as a way of buying time, only to cancel the visit at the last minute. This particular sign is easier to spot the longer the romance scam goes on. And it’s one of the main reasons that fraudsters pretend to have faraway jobs, so that they always have an excuse to not meet in person.
Images and audio feel off
This sign was easier to spot before the rise of AI. These days, fraudsters have easy-to-use tools at their disposal to create a fake online life and make it convincing. That said, as of 2026, AI still has issues with consistency. One or two images may be convincing, but don’t be afraid to compare the images and videos you receive from a mysterious new acquaintance. Is the face shape the same in each photo? Are the words or letters readable or are they gibberish? Consider the composition of images — are the light and shadows realistic?
Love bomb
It should come as no surprise that romance scammers have a tendency to love bomb potential new victims. Love bombing is when a person showers you with love in the early stages of meeting. Their goal is to make you feel special and wanted, and they often prey on those they perceive as lonely or easily swayed. If a new romantic connection begins telling you how perfect you are, how long they’ve been waiting to meet you, how much they love you even though they barely know you, or how they feel like they’ve always known you, then beware.
Smoke and mirrors
Smoke and mirrors are another crucial sign that becomes apparent the longer the scam goes on. As you may imagine, scammers lie. The longer they talk to a victim, the more they lie, and the easier it becomes to catch them in a lie. It could be locations and time not adding up, or conflicting information about who and where they are. Another smoke-and-mirrors technique is that they have no online presence whatsoever. Sure, not everyone is on social media. And that’s especially true for older generations. But if someone doesn’t want to meet in person, has no online profiles, and seems secretive, then it’s time to apply caution.
How OCCU can help
At OCCU, we have a dedicated fraud team working around the clock to protect your finances. We also have cutting-edge fraud detection systems to further bolster your financial defenses. If you suspect that your account is compromised. Give us a call and get peace of mind knowing that we’ve got you covered.
